Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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