So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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