Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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