I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
