What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Never let your siblings swipe right.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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