We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize