you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
