"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
