dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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