New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize
