3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
my sisters under your porch take her home
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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