Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
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