Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
