5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
