So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
