Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
