I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
