some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
