But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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