i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
