I saw his package. It spoke to me.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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