Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
