just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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