Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
