Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
