i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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