New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
