I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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