Her vagina should come with caution tape.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
