This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize