Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Randomize
