How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Randomize
