They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Randomize
