The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You need Xanax blowdarts
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
