I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
