big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize