Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
