i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
And then he peed in my hair
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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