Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
