My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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