farters have to be the big spoon...
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
