I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
