Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
