just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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