When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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