so explain again why im purple
no
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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