I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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