You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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