How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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