he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
