I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
It's never too late to be topless.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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