I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
