Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
