Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
