In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
