it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
