Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
