she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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