Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
