i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
